Relational Lives Podcast

EP3: Attachment Styles Explained: Which Attachment Style Are You?

Welcome to our latest episode, where we unpack attachment styles and how they influence your relationships. We’re diving into the science of connection, sharing relatable stories, and offering actionable steps to help you navigate your own patterns with more awareness and compassion.  
In This Episode:  What Are Attachment Styles? We explain how early experiences with caregivers shape your ability to connect.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. 
Secure Attachment (Green): A felt sense of safety—knowing someone’s got your back, allowing you to explore the world confidently (around 3:00, 00:03:12:04).  
Anxious Attachment (Red): Craving closeness due to unpredictable caregiving, often leading to a need for reassurance (around 7:00, 00:06:46:00).  
Our Stories: We share how anxiety shows up in parenting (waiting for people to text) and dating (preoccupation with responses) (around 9:00, 00:09:17:21).  
Avoidant Attachment (Blue): Seeking distance after consistent unavailability in childhood, often cutting off emotions to cope (around 11:00, 00:11:13:04).  
The Push-Pull Dynamic: Why anxious and avoidant styles often attract, creating a challenging cycle in relationships (around 17:00, 00:16:46:12).  
Takeaway Tips: We wrap up with three steps to understand and work with your attachment style (around 20:00, 00:19:51:20).
More on Attachment Styles:  
Secure (Green): You feel a deep sense of “I’m okay” and can communicate needs clearly (00:03:12:04). You’re comfortable with emotional closeness, can regulate your own emotions, and work through conflict to repair relationships. If a dynamic becomes unhealthy and communication doesn’t help, you’re more likely to walk away (hosts’ notes, 09:58, 02/04/2025).  
Anxious (Red, Approach): You crave closeness, fear abandonment, and may be hypervigilant about distance, often needing reassurance and contact (00:06:46:00). You might feel, “I’m not okay without someone else.”  
Avoidant (Blue, Distance): You value independence, struggle with emotional closeness, and may unconsciously shut down emotions to avoid feeling overwhelmed (00:11:13:04). You often feel, “I’m okay on my own—I don’t need anyone.”
Three Takeaway Tips:  Reflect on Your Childhood: Think about your early experiences with caregivers, were they consistent, unpredictable, or distant? This can reveal your default style (00:23:47:09).  
Notice Your Behaviours: Spot patterns, like seeking constant contact (anxious) or pulling away (avoidant) and how they feel in your body (00:24:16:04).  
Practise Secure Behaviours: Try open communication, like saying, “I need space now” or “I need to hear back from you,” to build healthier connections (00:25:40:12).
Resources Mentioned:  We reference the Therapists Uncensored podcast for their colour-coded approach to attachment styles—check it out for more insights: https://therapistuncensored.com.
Connect With Us:Have a question or want to share your attachment style story? Reach out at Relationallives@gmail.com.Subscribe for more episodes on relationships, mental health, and self-awareness.   Thanks for Listening!If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on Podbean or share it with a friend. See you next time as we continue to explore the messy, brilliant human experience!  
 

EP2: How to Stop Being so Self-critical

Welcome to our latest episode, where we tackle the tricky habit of self-criticism! We’re unpacking why we beat ourselves up, how that inner critic takes over, and what we can do to bring in more kindness. With personal insights and actionable steps, this episode is all about making peace with yourself, one compassionate moment at a time.  
In This Episode:  
What’s Behind Self-Criticism? We look at why we’re so hard on ourselves and how the inner critic becomes a loud character in our heads.
The Inner Critic’s Role: Discover how this voice might have once helped us but now oversteps, and why it won’t just go away.
A Kinder Alternative: We talk about bringing in a compassionate character—understanding, firm, and warm—to balance things out. 
Personal Reflections: Hear our stories of sleepless worries before recordings and body image battles, showing how compassion can shift the narrative.
Being Alongside Yourself: Learn why it’s not about fixing the pain but being with it differently.
Building Compassion: Practical ideas on growing that kinder voice, even when it feels unfamiliar.
Takeaway Tips: We finish with three simple steps to stop the self-beatdown and start being kinder.
Three Takeaway Tips:  
Check Your Compassion: Notice if you can give kindness to others, receive it from them, or offer it to yourself, start where you’re at.  
Spot the Blocks: Reflect on what stops you from being kind to yourself, maybe it’s feeling lazy or self-indulgent and challenge those beliefs.  
Label and Shift: When your inner critic gets noisy, name it (“My critic’s chatty today”), then invite your compassionate voice to step in with warmth and understanding.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. 
Resources Mentioned:  Curious about compassion-focussed therapy? Search online for more on how it helps ease suffering and boosts mental wellbeing!
Connect With Us:
Got a question or want to share your inner critic’s favourite lines? Email us at Relationallives@gmail.com.
Subscribe for more episodes on mental health, self-compassion, and managing tricky thoughts. 
Next Episode Teaser:
We’re looking at how we can understand our own attachment styles in relationships. Don’t miss it! 
Thanks for Listening!If this episode resonated, please leave a review on Podbean or share it with a friend. See you next time as we keep exploring how to navigate the messy but marvelous human brain! 

EP1: Understanding Anxiety: Unpacking the Brain’s Alarm System

In this episode, we dive deep into the world of anxiety—what it is, why it happens, and how our brains can sometimes trick us into a cycle of worry. Join us as we explore the evolutionary roots of anxiety, the fight-or-flight response, and how modern overthinking turns our natural alarm system into a source of stress. We’ll share personal stories, and offer three practical takeaway tips to help you understand and manage your anxiety. Whether you’re dealing with social anxiety, performance fears, or just everyday worries, this episode is your first step toward making sense of it all. Tune in and start taming your tricky brain today!
 
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. 
 
Show Notes:
 
Episode: Understanding Anxiety: Unpacking the Brain’s Alarm System
Welcome to our latest episode where we tackle the big topic of anxiety! We’re peeling back the layers of this common experience to help you understand what’s really going on in your brain and body. From catastrophizing to sweaty palms, we’ve got you covered with insights, relatable stories, and actionable advice.
 
In This Episode:
What is Anxiety? We break down the brain’s built-in alarm system and how it can’t tell the difference between a real threat (like a lion chasing you) and an imagined one (like a looming deadline).
The Tricky Brain: Discover how our evolved ability to think ahead and imagine scenarios can fuel worry, overthinking, and even physical symptoms like a racing heart or dry mouth.
Personal Reflections: We share our own experiences with anxiety, including performance fears tied to past humiliations and the pressure of big upcoming events.
The Vicious Cycle: Learn how avoidance and overpreparation can keep anxiety alive—and what to do instead.
Takeaway Tips: We wrap up with three simple, practical strategies to start understanding and managing your anxiety today.
Three Takeaway Tips:
Name It to Tame It: Give your anxiety a name (like “Little Miss Anxiety”) to create distance and recognize when it shows up.
Reflect on the Roots: Look back at your past experiences—school pressures, family dynamics, or hormonal shifts—to uncover where your anxiety might come from.
Spot the Patterns: Identify habits like avoidance or overpreparing that keep your anxiety going, and start journaling to track them.
Resources Mentioned:
Check out Ross Harris’s brilliant animation videos on YouTube, like “The Struggle Switch,” for a quick and clear look at how we get stuck in anxiety cycles. Links below!
The Struggle Switch - YouTube
Connect With Us:
Have a question or want to share your anxiety story? Reach out to us at Relationallives@gmail.com
Subscribe for more episodes on anxiety, including future deep dives into social anxiety, panic attacks, and worry.
Next Episode Teaser:
We’re looking at how to stop beating yourself up about things. Don’t miss it!
 
Thanks for Listening!
If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a review on Podbean or share it with a friend. See you next time as we continue to explore the messy, marvelous human brain!

Relational Lives Trailer: Your Free Mental Health Podcast with Ali & Ros

Welcome to Relational Lives!
Join psychotherapists Ali and Ros as we kick off our new podcast, bringing you free, accessible insights into mental health, relationships, and how our minds and bodies work.
After years of dreaming about this (since 2018!), we’re finally here and we’re so excited to share this journey with you. In this trailer, we introduce ourselves, our mission, and why we’re stepping out of our comfort zone to create something for you.
As therapists, we know private therapy isn’t cheap, so we’re offering bite-sized help and education on topics that matter—relationships with ourselves, others, and everything in between. No topic is off-limits, and it’s for all ages!
What to Expect:
Practical tips and therapist insights you can use every day Deep dives into mental health, the brain, and human connection Future guest experts and topics you suggest (get in touch!) A raw, real ride as we learn and grow alongside you
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. 
Timestamps:
0:00 - Welcome to Relational Lives
0:30 - Why We Started This Podcast
1:20 - Our Goal: Free Mental Health Support
2:00 - What’s Coming Up & How to Join Us
Get Involved: Have a topic you want us to cover?
Subscribe now and hit the bell so you don’t miss our first full episode—we’ve got exciting stuff lined up!