Relational Lives Podcast

Inside Social Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming it with CBT

In this episode, psychotherapists Ali and Ros unpack the often misunderstood experience of social anxiety. They explore what social anxiety really is, how it shows up in everyday life, and why so many people are struggling with it more since the COVID pandemic. The conversation looks at the impact of technology and social media, the role of early life experiences, and how anxiety can become a self-perpetuating cycle. Ali and Ros discuss common coping strategies, why some can unintentionally keep anxiety going, and how approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help break the pattern. Along the way, they share practical, compassionate tools for managing social anxiety, offering reassurance, insight, and hope for anyone who finds social situations challenging.
00:00 Understanding Social Anxiety
04:29 The Cycle of Anxiety and Avoidance
07:30 The Impact of Technology on Social Anxiety
10:30 Childhood Experiences and Social Anxiety
13:30 Neurodiversity and Social Anxiety
16:14 Public Speaking and Social Anxiety
21:46 Understanding Social Anxiety and Its Triggers
25:09 The Cycle of Avoidance and Anxiety
30:56 Safety Behaviours and Their Impact
34:36 Therapeutic Approaches to Social Anxiety
41:00 Practical Steps for Managing Social Anxiety
📍 Resources mentioned:
Social Anxiety Safety Behaviours: Conversation behaviours
✨ Keeping very quiet, talking softly, or giving only brief answers.
✨ Avoid talking about yourself or giving opinions.
✨ Planning and rehearsing what you might be able to talk about.
Attention and mental strategies
✨ Focusing intensely on yourself (how you look, sound, or feel) as you talk.
✨ Having excuses ready so you can leave early if anxiety rises.
✨ Suppressing anxious thoughts or images, or silently repeating reassuring phrases.
Positioning and participation
✨ Standing or sitting on the edge or at the back of a group/room.
✨ Staying close to one safe person at social events.
✨ Taking on a “busy” role (in the kitchen, behind the scenes, on tech) to avoid direct            interaction.​
✨ Interacting with a pet instead of engaging in conversation.
✨ Choosing quiet times or less crowded places to go out.
Eye contact and body language
✨ Avoiding or minimising eye contact.
✨ Holding objects tightly (cups, bags, papers) to hide shaking or to feel steadier.
✨ Fidgeting with phones, keys, or other items to look busy and unapproachable.
✨ Use of phones, devices, and props
✨ Frequently checking or using a phone during social situations.
✨ Wearing headphones or appearing engrossed in a screen to limit interaction.
✨ Keeping a drink, bag, or notes in hand as a “shield” or distraction.
Appearance and hiding physical symptoms
✨ Wearing certain clothes (layers, long sleeves, dark colours) to hide sweating or                shaking.
✨Using makeup to conceal blushing or other visible signs of anxiety. S
Substances and situational avoidance
✨ Using alcohol or other substances to relax.
✨ Avoiding caffeine, exercise, warm rooms, or spicy foods to prevent anxiety like                sensations.​
✨ Limiting or declining invitations to many social events (partial avoidance rather than        total).
Reassurance and checking
✨ Asking others for repeated reassurance about how you came across (“Did I sound            stupid?”).
✨ Replaying conversations afterwards to check for mistakes or signs of humiliation.
✨ Practising or overpreparing for routine social tasks (emails, phone calls, meetings)            to avoid possible errors.
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most?  What should we do more of (or less)?  Topics you want:  Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.comOr fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  
Credits:  
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  Music by: Stile Tree Studio  
 

I’m Not Lazy, It’s ADHD: Liz’s Late Discovery

In this episode, we sit down with Liz, who has recently discovered her ADHD diagnosis and is now re-examining her life through this new understanding. Liz candidly reflects on her journey, from childhood and education to her career and relationships, revealing how ADHD has shaped her experiences in ways she’s only now beginning to see clearly.
Together, we talk about the relief and grief that can come with late diagnosis, how self-compassion becomes essential in healing old narratives, and the unique challenges of navigating ADHD alongside menopause. Liz also shares the practical strategies and tools that have helped her manage her symptoms, and we explore how technology and AI can play a supportive role.
This conversation is an honest, hopeful exploration of what it means to embrace neurodivergence later in life, and a reminder of the power of understanding and compassion, both for ourselves and others.
00:00 Understanding Adult ADHD Through Lived Experience
01:03 Recognizing ADHD Traits and Their Impact
03:33 Navigating Relationships with ADHD
04:04 Challenges in Education and Career
08:01 Emotional Unravelling and Seeking Help
09:09 The Impact of Childhood Experiences
12:08 Finding Creative Outlets
17:26 The Saboteur Within
19:25 Grounding Through Relationships and Work
20:40 Understanding Personal Struggles and ADHD
23:57 The Impact of ADHD on Relationships
27:14 Navigating Menopause and ADHD
29:26 Coping Strategies for ADHD
32:37 The Role of AI in Managing ADHD
 
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most?  
What should we do more of (or less)?  
Topics you want:  Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/  
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives  
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  
Credits:  
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  
Music by: Stile Tree Studio  

Will AI Replace Your Therapist?

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore how artificial intelligence is changing the landscape of therapy, mental health, and personal relationships. From ChatGPT offering relationship and mental health advice to AI-driven emotional support tools, they discuss real-world examples, personal experiences, and insights from a listener survey. The conversation tackles the big questions: Can AI ever replace the human aspects of therapy? What are its benefits and risks for people seeking emotional help online? Ali and Ros unpack the balance between innovation and human connection, and reflect on the implications on their roles as psychotherapists.
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most?  What should we do more of (or less)?  Topics you want:  Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.comOr fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  
Credits:  
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  Music by: Stile Tree Studio  
00:00 The Impact of AI on Jobs and Relationships
04:55 Survey Insights on AI Usage
09:37 AI in Personal Problem Solving
13:09 The Limitations of AI in Therapy
16:06 Introduction to AI in Personal Relationships
18:29 Personal Experiences with AI Support
22:08 Concerns About AI and Vulnerability
25:41 AI vs. Human Therapy: A Comparative Analysis
29:53 The Future of Therapy in the Age of AI

Finding Your Way Through Grief

In this episode of Relational Lives, hosts Ali and Ros explore the tender and universal experience of grief, the pain that accompanies the loss of those we love, whether human or animal. Together, they unpack the many faces of grief, from its emotional and physical expressions to the cultural stories that shape how we mourn. The conversation reminds us that grief is not a sign of weakness but a reflection of love, its depth often mirroring the strength of our bonds.
As the dialogue unfolds, Ali and Ros offer thoughtful perspectives on navigating grief with compassion and authenticity. They discuss how grief looks different for everyone and why it’s essential to give ourselves permission to feel, even when society encourages us to “move on.” Drawing on models like the dual process framework, they highlight the ebb and flow between loss and restoration, showing that healing is not linear but deeply human. The episode closes with gentle, practical guidance on embracing self-care and allowing grief to unfold at its own pace.
✨ Perfect for anyone interested in grief, loss, attachment, mental health, coping with grief, emotional support, bereavement, and self compassion.
00:00 Understanding Grief and Its Impact
02:37 The Physical and Emotional Experience of Grief
06:55 Navigating Grief: Personal Stories and Insights
10:28 Coping Mechanisms and Cultural Perspectives on Grief
13:30 The Non-Linear Nature of Grieving
16:48 The Role of Attachment in Grief
18:41 Understanding Self-Reliance in Grief
20:52 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Grieving
24:13 Cultural Expectations and Individual Grief
27:19 Navigating Support for Grieving Individuals
30:59 Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Grief
35:20 The Importance of Self-Compassion in Grief
📍 Resources mentioned: John Bolby's book on Loss:
https://bit.ly/45Ta6KH
Dr Tonkin - growing around grief:
https://bit.ly/45Tauc7 https://bit.ly/4pJ0p8K
Dual Process Model:
https://bit.ly/4r0JEXT
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio

Own Your Sh*t: Mastering Accountability in Relationships

In this episode, Ali and Ros explore what it really means to take accountability in relationships — or, as they put it, to “own your own shit.” They unpack how recognizing the impact of our actions and reactions can transform the way we connect with others, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or at work. Using everyday examples — including the classic disagreement over how to load the dishwasher — the hosts reveal how small moments often reflect deeper patterns in communication and understanding.
Ali and Ros also dive into the discomfort that comes with facing our own shortcomings and the defence mechanisms that can get in the way. They remind listeners that accountability isn’t about self-blame; it’s about awareness, empathy, and learning to respond rather than react. With practical tools and honest reflection, they offer ways to break unhelpful cycles and build stronger, more supportive relationships grounded in honesty, growth, and mutual respect.
✨Perfect for anyone interested in understanding the taking of accountability, being self reflective, having better communication, relationship dynamics, and partnership.
Chapters:
00:00 The Importance of Accountability in Relationships
06:35 Understanding Impact and Self-Reflection
14:24 Defensiveness and Shame in Communication
14:33 Understanding Defensive Behaviours and Accountability
16:26 Navigating Shame and Rejection in Relationships
17:35 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Acknowledgment
20:07 Normalizing Human Imperfection and Accountability
24:24 Effective Communication and Validation in Relationships
28:14 Owning Your Defensiveness and Seeking Growth
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio

Stuck in the Sexual Standoff: Couples’ Negative Intimacy Cycle

In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the connections between the sexual cycle and the relational cycle, offering insights into how emotional and physical intimacy mirror one another. They explore the distinction between responsive and spontaneous desire, how attachment patterns influence sexual connection, and why communication is at the heart of a satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion also touches on cultural expectations around sex, the challenges of mismatched desire, and how understanding each partner’s experience can help couples build renewed closeness and vitality in their relationship.
📍 Resources mentioned:
Relational Lives previous episode on Negative relationship cycle: https://youtu.be/qfDFwVSH5sU?si=O5ZzfQsFm-nTNrCe
Spontaneous or Responsive Desire TED talk by Emily Nagoski: https://youtu.be/lon25Nc1Vx8?si=-jhXJi81K1XGloVW
 
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Sexual Cycle
02:53 Understanding the Dynamics of the Sexual Cycle
05:39 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire
08:33 The Role of Emotional Connection in Sexual Intimacy
11:16 Exploring the Cycle of Desire and Rejection
13:55 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Sexual Relationships
16:35 Influences on Sexual Dynamics
19:30 Addressing Sexual Trauma and Its Effects
22:15 Navigating Health and Aging in Sexual Relationships
25:14 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Cycles
27:58 Conclusion and Future Discussions
 
We Want to Hear From You
What did you love most?  What should we do more of (or less)?  Topics you want:  Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.comOr fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us
 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!  Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.  
Disclaimer
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  
Credits  
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  Music by: Stile Tree Studio  
 

Sharing the Load: rethinking responsibility dynamics in your relationship

In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the mental load in relationships – the invisible emotional labour of planning, organizing, and remembering that often falls on one partner. They explore how this uneven cognitive and emotional load creates resentment, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy, while the other partner may feel criticised, confused, or like they can never get it right.
Ali and Ros look at how relationship dynamics, communication styles, gender roles, and family and cultural backgrounds shape who carries the mental load at home. They invite listeners to recognise common patterns in couples – the over-functioning partner who “keeps everything in their head” and the under-functioning partner who waits to be asked – and how these cycles keep both people stuck.
The conversation offers practical, therapist-informed strategies for sharing the load more fairly, improving communication in couples, and making the invisible work visible. Ali and Ros also encourage couples to use 2026 as a turning point to reset expectations, build healthier boundaries, and create more balanced, sustainable partnerships.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Sharing the Load in Relationships
01:31 Understanding the Mental Load
04:55 The Dynamics of Carrying the Load
09:28 The Impact on the Non-Load Carrier
10:34 Exploring the Negative Cycle
17:35 The Long-Term Effects of the Cycle
18:14 The Shift from Adult to Parent-Child Dynamics
19:35 Influences on Relationship Dynamics
21:25 Understanding ADHD and Task Management
22:30 The Impact of Upbringing on Responsibility
25:00 Anxiety and Performance in Relationships
26:51 Life Events and Relationship Dynamics
28:06 Understanding the Cycle of Conflict
30:33 Exploring Internal and External Dynamics
33:17 Challenging Expectations and Finding Solutions
36:02 From Carrying to Sharing the Load
 
Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode.
Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT.
We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.
Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics.
If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio

The Real Talk Episode: Reflecting and Repairing

Join Ali and Ros for a raw, heartfelt, and unscripted conversation as they look back on eight months and over 30 episodes of Relational Lives. In this special episode, the hosts pull back the curtain on their journey — from the shock of going viral on Shut Up & Talking (160,000+ views!) to building a podcast from scratch, all while navigating friendship, vulnerability, and the realities of being two women in their 50s in the digital world.  
They reflect on standout guests (like Caz’s powerful journey to embracing single life), explore how recording together has triggered old patterns, and share the moment one host bravely called out a “pedestal” dynamic — and how they repaired it. With warmth and honesty, they discuss what’s worked, what hasn’t, and why they’re pausing the podcast to regroup, recharge, and listen to YOU. 
This isn’t just a recap, it’s a real conversation about growth, repair, and walking the talk of relational therapy. 
Plus, they’re asking:What did YOU love? What should we do more of? Less of?(Sex and intimacy? More casual chats? Bring back “Would You Rather”?)  Your feedback will shape Season 3.  
Timestamps  00:00 – Welcome: Why This Episode Feels Different  00:30 – From Zero to 30: How It All Began  01:00 – The Viral Moment: Shut Up & Talking (160K Views!)  01:49 – The Younger Generation’s Mental Health Awareness  02:49 – 30+ Episodes in 8 Months: The Numbers  03:26 – Being 50+ in a Gen Z Podcast World  04:05 – “Mum, I wouldn’t watch you because of your age”  05:11 – Caz’s Story: Losing Yourself in Relationships  06:20 – Other Guests That Moved Us  07:30 – When Friendship Meets Therapy: The Pedestal Moment  40:57 – Calling It Out: Courage & Repair  41:43 – “The trouble with pedestals…”  42:54 – Catching Triggers Early: Walking the Talk  43:50 – Why We’re Pausing: Regroup, Recharge, Listen  44:19 – What’s Next? Sex, Intimacy & Your Ideas  45:11 – Feedback Wanted: More Chats? More Guests?  45:58 – Bring Back “Would You Rather”?  46:23 – Thank You & See You in Season 3
We Want to Hear From You  What did you love most?  What should we do more of (or less)?  Topics you want: Sex? Intimacy? Parenting?  Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes?
Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.comOr fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!  Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.  
DisclaimerPlease remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  
Credits  Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  Music by: Stile Tree Studio  Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio (Thanks, Paul!)

Relational Lives: The Heartfelt Story Behind Red January

For a decade, RED (Rise Every Day) January has inspired thousands to move more, feel better, and support one another through the darkest month of the year. Now, it’s taking a bold new step forward — and it starts with you. 
Join the nationwide warm-up to RED January 2026 at redjanuary.com.  
Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for an inspiring conversation with Hannah Beecham, founder of Red January, as she shares the deeply personal story behind this life-changing initiative. Born from her own family’s battle with depression — watching her mum struggle through the winter blues and finding solace in simple side-by-side walks — Hannah reveals how a single act of connection sparked a global movement. At just 29, she turned helplessness into hope, creating a challenge that’s now helped countless people rise every day with gentle movement, community support, and real behavioral change. 
From its evolution to a community interest company to exciting new research on its impact, this episode explores why January — with its short days and post-holiday slump — needs a splash of red more than ever. Whether you’re signing up for 2026 or seeking motivation now, Hannah’s journey is a reminder that small steps, shared stories, and self-compassion can light the way through the toughest seasons.  
Timestamps  00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Hannah Beecham  01:06 – What is Red January? Rise Every Day Explained  02:34 – The Inspiration: Hannah’s Mum’s Battle with Depression  04:45 – Family Walks: Finding Connection Side by Side  06:20 – Turning Helplessness into Action: Starting the Challenge  07:59 – The First January: Small Goals, Big Impact  10:00 – Evolution from Daily Runs to Flexible Movement  11:18 – Why January? Tackling the Darkest Month  13:10 – Behavioral Activation: Science Behind the Movement  14:43 – Winter Blues, Christmas Pressures & Red’s Role  16:06 – Community Power: Sharing Stories and Support  18:00 – Red January Today: A Community Interest Company  20:00 – New Research: Measuring Real Change  22:00 – Global Reach: Anyone, Anywhere Can Join  24:00 – Advice for Getting Started: Motivation When It’s Hard  26:00 – Pets, Family & Everyday Wins  28:00 – Future Plans: Advocacy and Expansion  30:00 – Hannah’s Journey: From Personal Pain to Purpose  32:00 – Mum’s Legacy: Walking Together Still  34:00 – Call to Action: Sign Up for 2026  36:00 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways
Sign Up for RED January 2026: https://join.redjanuary.com/ (Free to join, set your own movement goal)
Connect with us  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode.
Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT.
We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.  
Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics. 
If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.  
DisclaimerPlease remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  
Credits  Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  Music by: Stile Tree Studio  Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio
 

Living Fully, Loving Deeply: Julie Russell on Fraser’s Life

Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for a deeply moving conversation with Julie Russell, who shares the tender and inspiring story of her son Fraser, born with a rare life-limiting genetic condition. From the shock of his diagnosis hours after birth to the profound care provided by their local children’s hospice, Julie reflects on the joy, love, and support that defined Fraser’s two short years.
 
With music therapy at the heart of their journey, she highlights how it brought connection, comfort, and celebration of life, even in the face of loss. Now, Julie and hospice music therapist Vicky have co-edited a powerful book amplifying family and practitioner voices in paediatric palliative care.
 
This episode is a heartfelt reminder to live fully in the moment and honour every life, however brief. Have tissues ready, this is a story of love, resilience, and legacy. Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome & Honouring Fraser’s Story
02:01 – Julie’s Journey: Fraser’s Diagnosis at Birth
04:31 – From SCBU to St Thomas’ NICU: A Terrifying Start
06:15 – Bonding Through Crisis: “I Just Needed to Be With Him”
08:36 – Discovering the Children’s Hospice: A Turning Point
11:28 – Music Therapy: Building Connection and Joy
15:29 – Family Life at the Hospice: Sibling Support & Normal Moments
18:00 – Celebrating Fraser: Birthdays, Christmas, and Love
22:43 – The Final Days: A Peaceful, Supported End of Life
27:32 – Grief, Legacy, and Staying Connected to Fraser
36:26 – The Book: Collaborative Voices in Music Therapy & Palliative Care
40:11 – Why Family Stories Matter in Paediatric Palliative Care
43:34 – Co-Editing with Vicky: Honouring Lived Experience
46:02 – The Power of Music Therapy: Life-Changing for Families
47:57 – Closing Reflections: A Good Life, A Good Death
48:32 – Thank You & Call to Action
Connect with us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.
 
Links to the book: Music Therapy in Children’s Palliative Care Collaborative Family and Practitioner Voices https://tinyurl.com/5n833vtd: https://amzn.eu/d/83U3jqJ https://tinyurl.com/3ybk3bbw https://julesrussellillustration.co.uk/ - Jules Russell Illustrations
 
Disclaimer
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio